The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!

While the world has focused its attention on multiple issues from what’s happening on the Korean peninsula, Stormy Daniels, the Bill Cosby trial, the volatility of the stock market, sports playoffs, and what’s happening in Washington D.C., a seismic change that will effect all our lives has occurred in the fast food industry with all most no fanfare at all.

You missed it, too, didn’t you?  What if I give you a hint?  It happened at Pizza Hut.  Was it a new sauce?  Nope.  More pepperoni?  Wrong again.  Faster delivery?  Not exactly.  Gluten free options?  Possible, but that’s not the real news.  Still stumped?

The fine folks at Pizza Hut have done something that Albert Einstein, nor anyone at MIT, Cal Poly, nor any think tank has been able to accomplish previously.  They have altered the space/time continuum by creating longer hours.  You don’t have to believe me.  Read the sign.

Why all the top scientific publications and major news networks have overlooked this is beyond me.  The implications for hourly workers are longer days for less money.  Why aren’t the unions taking to the streets in protest?  When a mechanic tells you your car will be ready in an hour does that mean the time period we have grown up with or one of the “new longer hours”?  (Which no one has bothered to let us know how long they will be.)   How much are things going to slow down? 

Since the hour is still being used as a key measure of time and we’re being told those hours will be longer, what will the impact be on minutes and seconds?  What’s going to happen to hour-long TV programs, specifically 60 Minutes?  Will we need new watches and calendars?  How will this impact the transportation industry?  Will some states and countries be allowed to remain on current time or will there be a universal conversion effort to adopt the new longer hours?

I’m all for progress, but also quick to call out a bad idea and this is a horrible one.  I beseech everyone who reads this to get on social media, mobilize their neighborhoods, march on their local Pizza Hut and sit in there until we have an agreement to repeal the new longer hours.  The 60-minute hour worked just fine for our forefathers and will be just as good for our great-great grandchildren.